Sheila Says

To whom it may concern, including,

·         Bertolli frozen dinners
·         McDonald’s crack fries
·         Buckets of ice cream
·         Mozzarella sticks
·         Hershey’s Mint Bliss
·         Oreos
·         Rice-A-Roni (by the box…)
·         And while we’re at it – Pasta Roni…
·         Weekly box o’ mac &cheese
·         Rice Krispie treats (big time throughout CPA studies)
·         Brownies
·         Culvers custard
·         Happy hour appetizers
·         Copious amounts of ranch dressing

It’s been real.  We’ve had some good times sitting on the couch soaking up sappy romantic comedies and bad reality TV while playing The Sims and Oregon Trail.  Remember those weekends when we wouldn’t even bother to shower or step outside? Just you, me, and pair of sweatpants livin’ the dream.

It’s over.

You are overly processed, laden with sodium and sugars, packed with calories, and addicting.  Your mere presence causes me to lose control and consume multiple servings.  You go straight to my arse and have since worn out your welcome there.  You’ve made it impossible for me to go up four flights of stairs in the parking ramp without losing my breath. You made it ridiculously difficult for me to work up to jogging for 10 minutes straight last summer.

You are rarely produced locally and I can’t read half of your ingredients.  Rather than getting an advanced degree in the study of ingredient list interpretation, I have forged relationships with local growers and producers that tell me in plain English what is in their wares.  It’s just more efficient this way.

You are always on sale and almost always tempt me with a coupon.  But paying more for my local, fresh, organic, free-range, etc. food is a down payment on a better future.  I won’t be going broke over missing you.

Don’t worry about me; I’ll be busy starting my days off with a rousing hour of kickboxing in which I will roundhouse you away.  I’m sure we’ll get back together from time to time for a shameful night which I’ll regret in the morning.  But, you’re only going to be around once in a while.  Like once a month.

Trust me, it’s not me, it’s you.  It basically came down to giving you up or buying new jeans.  And I hate shopping for jeans.

Sheila

Disclaimer – all but one of the pictures in this post came from my phone, hence the overall blurriness.

1. I have a new radio at work.  It is pink and awesome.
2. Do The Fray and Train pay extra to have their songs played more often in order to annoy me? I want more Gaga!
3. Currently reading: A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.   I wasn’t sure about this widely-popular book at first, but now I can hardly put it down.  So. Much. Drama.
4. Fact: There is a HBO series based on A Game of Thrones.  One of the characters is played by Jason Momoa.  I work with his mom.  Seriously.
5. On Saturday Mike and I attended a charity dinner with our friends.  We (mainly Mike) took full advantage of the wine and beer sampling.  Pretty sure the MS Society will no longer be offering discounted tickets for young professionals.  They may have lost money on us, especially since we didn’t actually try to win anything at the auction.  I’d post pictures, but I deleted them from my camera.  Still crossing my fingers in the hopes of retrieving them.  Miracles happen, right?!?
   

   This is what happens when you drink too much wine

6. I’m not terribly political, but I really liked this article.
7. Two of my bridesmaids just got engaged this last week  Not to each other.  So happy for them!
   

   L to R - married, engaged, married (obviously), dating (she's still young...), engaged

8. We went cologne shopping this weekend.  “Le Male” really puts the emphasis on being male.
9. Am I the only one that wishes these were available forever and for always?
10. My Vegas sales pitch totally worked.

This last August my husband and I traveled to Las Vegas with some friends.  It was his second time and my first.  I totally expected Sin City to be dirty and far from classy.  My expectations were way off.  Las Vegas has a great energy.  There’s always something to do, people to watch, money to win.  I think I slept 14 hours at the most in the 60 or so hours we were on the Strip.

We did so much in so little time….and ate some awesome food.  Earl of Sandwich, Batista’s, Samba Brazilian, the infamous Flamingo buffet…all amazing.

We ate sooo much at the Brazilian restaurant!

Time was made to watch the Bellagio fountains, explore the gorgeous hotels. and hang out with some celebs at Madame Tussuad’s.

We strolled and gambled a good portion of the Strip by day and hit up the club at night.  My experience at the club (it was Chateau at Paris, btw) is a great story that culminates with me getting us into the VIP section by meeting a girl in line for the bathrooms who happened to like my watch.

I loved Las Vegas so much, I have talked of little else since we returned.  I spent several hours on Tuesday comparing flights, hotels, and dates, and came up with Las Vegas version 2.0.  Of course I would never dream of going to Vegas with just my husband! Granted, we’d have fun, but not nearly as much fun as we would with our peeps.  So, I sent out the following email to entice our friends –

To state the obvious, I love Las Vegas.  I want you to love Las Vegas too.

I am going down to the airport this week to purchase some plane tickets for August 10-13 on Allegiant.  Flights end up at $492.72 for two peope.  I also discovered that I can get a Go room (that’s the non-skanky remodeled room – probably not STD free, but it has an ipod dock) at the Flamingo for $311.81 by going directly to the Flamingo reservations site, for a grand total of $764.53.  Amazingly enough, this is cheaper than bundling your flight/room through Allegiant (and Allegiant puts you in the rooms that smell of shame and have mysterious brown gunk in the bath tub…).  I have declared this year of 2012 to be our year of fun before the potential of fun-destructive offspring.  Denver in March, Vegas in August, and Mexico in November.  My quart size baggie of travel-sized liquids will be getting a workout this year! Here’s to hoping that the TSA agents give me a great pat down experience.

Next, the sales pitch:

1. Price – Seriously, $764.53 plus food/gambling costs, not too shabby!  Plus, as the Spencers can attest, you get free booze while you gamble, even at the penny slots.
2. You only have to take one day off of work.  We fly out at 8pm Friday and get back Monday evening.
3. The Flamingo pool.  I did not partake in this arena of fun-ness last time, but it is on my must-do list for this trip.  Apparently it is quite the par-tay zone and you can snag some sweet pink souvenir cups from the drunkards that leave theirs lying around.
4. Vegas with Sheila is awesome.  I didn’t sleep much last time, and now I have discovered my love for caramel frappucinos, which means that I probably won’t sleep at all.  I am a seasoned champion at go-go-go vacations and have a talent for finding great local food for reasonable prices.  You will not be bored or hungry.  I also have an uncanny ability to get into VIP sections at da club.  Just sayin’.

To summarize, you need to come to Vegas with me.  Think about it, swish it around in your brain for a few days, and then book it! Since this is my second go ’round at Sin City, I am thinking I’d like to do a Hoover Dam tour and/or take in a show.  Since celebrating the 3rd anniversary of my 25th birthday, I don’t think that my body can handle 60+ straight hours on the strip listening to the snap-snap-snap of call girl cards with stars for nipples.

And why yes, I ended this email with the word “nipples”.

I definitely nailed that sales pitch.